written by a soul sister

A Vow of Love for Yourself—Happy Valentine's Day
I wrote this on a day when I didn't feel like writing or being in my own skin. I wanted to be somewhere else or better yet, someone else. I wrote this as a dedication and a commitment to not abandon myself. It strikes me now that it's an appropriate gift to give you for Valentine's Day. I believe the greatest love begins with self-love which begins with self-acceptance. So for all of us who struggle in the moments of being human and uncomfortable, I dedicate this to you...

Show up anyway. Sit before the dry desert. This is an act of honor. I arrive for myself in all conditions. I am not a festive attendant—only interested in my own company when I am light and crackling with mental clarity like lightning. My mind is an unclear lake right now, muddy, sandy, rocky, dry and thick. I see nothing else on the horizon in this moment, no matter what the Platitude Girl says on top of the hill.

Yet I will sit down with myself, put a silky arm around my bony shoulders, sit and pray and be. I will not smack this self across the face by wishing for a different moment. I will not cut and paste her reality. I will not push her aside, anxious to move on. I will sit with this self, be with the difficulty, the anxiety, the pressing lack of certainty. I will sit with this self and be her friend. I will be gentle with my presence by her side. I will sit there until the sun goes down and rises and burns itself out. I will never leave. I will never ask for more or better.

I will be so total in my presence and love that she will feel the silky presence of rose petals running through her bloodstream. She will feel full and present, she will breathe deeply. She will be healed and arise of her own accord. She will breathe a sigh of relief as deep as the well of the earth and as deep as her beginning and ending all rolled into one. She will feel a weight lifted, a gravity will leave her belly and her butterfly heart. She will giggle with all of her being. She will glow as freshly as the new moon. She will leave the barren world behind and plant flowers and seeds for trees and vegetables and roses and sunflowers. She will float up like a dandelion and blow away, she will heal of herself. She will know what to do and when to do it. She will feel loved. And she will know how to love.

This month I ask you to notice where you are tempted to abandon yourself in any way. Can you commit to being kind and present with yourself, no matter what the situation is? Love creates the conditions in which clarity, inspiration and movement occur.

With my love and blessings,


Tama

©Copyright 2009 Tama J. Kieves. All rights reserved.